Wolf Bargain: A Reverse Harem Shifter Romance (Wolfish Book 3) Read online

  Romulus stops in his tracks as soon as he sees the mess of the forest floor—with me in the center of it.

  He stands there, open mouthed and unable to speak for a long moment. I think I can see the morning light reflect of the wetness in his eyes.

  That moment of tenderness doesn’t last long, though his eyes still shine as he gives each of his sons a hug and pat on the back. And then, just like had happened last night after a brief moment of peaceful tenderness, reality reemerges with its ugliness and Romulus reminds us that we have to go.

  I don’t want to leave. I want to stay right here on this little patch of forest floor, surrounded by my mates with my pups in my arms, until everything passes by and leaves us alone.

  But I know that can’t happen.

  Rory and Marlowe each take a baby and I hand the little one in my arms to Romulus to hold. Kaleb helps me up and I’m surprised to find that I’m not nearly as weak or sore as I had expected to be, thought I still don’t complain when he insists on scooping me up in his arms to carry me.

  In fact, I feel more like myself than I have felt since before becoming pregnant.

  Another miracle of being a shifter, I suppose—even if I’m only partway there. I suppose wolves in the wild can’t afford to lie around for days as they recover, not when there are always predators lurking just out of sight.

  We walk back to the house and I can tell that everyone is very much on edge and on guard. The forest is quiet and still though. As much as I feared before, the threat from Remus is not yet here.

  Yet. That’s the key.

  As soon as we get inside of the house, Lydia and Vivian come running to see that we are okay, and both start to immediately fawn over the pups as soon as they see what’s happened. Romulus hands the grandson he carried back to Kaleb as soon as he’s set me down beside the fire, and the three boys sit down on the couch next to me, looking like a trio of proud dads. Each one is absolutely smitten with their sons and daughter.

  “You look so well,” Lydia says as she hugs me. “If I’d known, I would have called the doctor.” She holds me tight for a moment longer, and I think for a second that she’s holding back tears. Her face presses close to mine, and I feel wetness on her cheeks. “I don’t know what we would have done if we lost you. I can’t tell you how glad I am that everything went so smoothly.”

  “Thank you,” I say smiling. “So am I.”

  After my own fears, my own worries—I really am.

  The birth was not the terror I expected it to be. Now all that’s left is to worry about that happens next.

  27

  Sabrina

  By morning, my mind is racing.

  There’s only one more day before the full moon and Romulus is more sure than ever now that Remus will attack tomorrow night. He and the boys have been watching, and it looks as though Remus is ready and waiting for the full moon before he strikes. That doesn’t give me much time to decide my next move.

  I pace the house to think on my own while the boys and Romulus go out to speak to the other pack members about last minute strategies if it starts to look like all hope is lost. They don’t even try to word it differently now. They don’t even try to hide the fact that they’re all convinced this is a truly losing battle.

  Vivian and Lydia are so enchanted by the pups that they were more than willing to agree to watch them for a couple of hours.

  I told them that I just needed a bit of rest, but in truth what I needed was time to think.

  I walk outside, comfortable in the fact that the pups are in good hands and the boys are busy with preparations for tomorrow’s battle. Under normal circumstances, I imagine I wouldn’t be able to bear being parted with them. Not for a second.

  They already grew so quickly inside me, there’s no telling how quickly they’ll grow now. I don’t want to miss one second of them. Not when, just over a month ago, I thought they were a future I would never have.

  It isn’t long before I realize that none of the old exhaustion from the past weeks lingers in my bones. My muscles, though soft and atrophied from lack of use, ache instead to be used.

  To be pushed.

  I pick up the pace, and when I feel no pain, spur myself onward into a jog.

  Rather than tiring me, all I feel is exhilaration.

  The doctor did come this morning, and though he expressed some surprise at how quickly I’ve healed, I didn’t believe him. No one heals this much in one day after giving birth.

  But then again, he did say that something about the turning’s being put on hold causing my sons and daughter to develop at a monumental pace. Maybe the same is true for me. Maybe my body is recovering more quickly for the same reason.

  Whatever that reason, I’m not about to question it.

  Because for the first time in ages, I feel … free.

  My jog turns into a run, not because I’m trying to run away, but because I feel strong. I want to feel this strength running through me. I feel strong and fast and powerful—more powerful than I have ever felt.

  With every step that I take, I can feel myself going faster and the wind whipping against my face more furiously. Instead of feeling fatigued, I feel my muscles become more powerful each time my foot hits against the ground. The air that usually burns my lungs after just a short run is now fueling my body with a cooling energy that makes me feel more alive than I’ve ever felt.

  I don’t know what’s happening to me, but it gives me an idea.

  The boys and Romulus want me to take the pups away from the fight tomorrow. That’s what their plan is. They’re going to distract Remus and his pack and stand their ground until they fall, just to buy me enough time to get away and get the pups to safety.

  They’re hoping the fight will be enough distraction to allow me to finally get away.

  But that isn’t what I want to do.

  I can’t leave them behind. I won’t.

  And even if I could, Remus and his pack would eventually find me and the pups anyway, so all of it will have been for nothing. Remus is never going to let me survive. No matter how we look at it, it always comes back to the same outcome.

  With just us, our small pack, against them … the outcome is always the same.

  Rory, Marlowe, and Kaleb are as much a part of me now as our children are, and our babies need them as much as I do. With our chances so slim to begin with, I can’t leave them.

  That’s not part of the promise we made together. We promised that we would stay together, and I intend to keep that promise. I’m strong enough now that I can do it. I can feel it.

  The only question that remains is how to keep the pups protected and safe from Remus.

  That has to be the priority.

  I think through every scenario that pops into my head as I run. No matter how far my legs take me, my breath doesn’t grow labored. I don’t even feel tired. I feel the concentration set into my mind and I think about what each of the boys will say when I tell them that I won’t go along with the plan that we’ve made.

  I think about what to do with our children and how to keep them safe.

  Our pups are counting on me to keep them safe because I am their mother and that’s what mothers are supposed to do. I won’t make the same mistakes mine did.

  That’s it.

  I suddenly know what to do as I slide my heels to a halt on the muddy ground, changing directions to run back to the house as fast as I can. I’ve been running so fast that no one has even noticed that I’m not there yet. When I run back onto the yard behind the house, I step back into the house without my absence being missed.

  It’s a welcome change.

  I go right to where Lydia and Vivian are watching the babies in the living room.

  All three babies are swaddled in furs and sleeping on cushions near the warmth and glow of the hearth. Lydia and Vivian are speaking in soft voices and smiling every so often at the children as the pups’ pink little faces make little suckling motions and tiny sleeping coos. Th
ey are beyond beautiful, my babies.

  All I want is to hold them, to look into their three sets of eyes and forget everything else. But I can’t do that.

  Not, at least, until I know they’re safe.

  “Lydia,” I say softly as I stand in the entrance to the room. As soon as she looks up at me, her face grows stony at the sight of my flushed face. She knows what I have to say, even before I say it. “I need to talk to you.”

  28

  Sabrina

  “I can’t do that,” Lydia says, as soon as I’ve finished explaining my plan. “They need you.”

  “I know my children need me,” I say. “But they need the boys too.”

  We stand head to head in the kitchen, our own battle taking place in our matching, unmoving posture. I knew she wouldn’t like the idea of my going into battle with the boys while she’s the one to take my newborns to safety.

  It made sense in my head but now … even as I wait for her reaction, I feel myself waver slightly. I don’t know what the right thing to do is.

  I never do. Not these days. Not when everything, and I mean everything, feels like uncharted territory.

  After a moment, Lydia’s posture breaks.

  “I don’t know, Sabrina,” she says as she shakes her head and paces the kitchen. “If something happens to all of you, the pups will have no parents left.”

  “If something happens to all of us,” I say. “They will at least have you.”

  I walk over to her and reach for her hand.

  “Lydia, you’re the best mother that I have ever known. You’re strong, and protective, and kind, and wise. And without fail, you are always there for your children; even me. I hope to god that nothing happens to any of us; but if it does, there is no one in the world that I would want my babies to be with more than you.”

  I pause a second, trying to keep my voice from cracking as I continue. “Besides … I wouldn’t know what to tell them. I don’t know how to raise them, what to expect … at least you do.”

  Because this is what this all really boils down to.

  I don’t know how to raise them. I don’t even know how to keep them alive. How could I possibly raise three shifters when I don’t even know what it is to be a shifter?

  She just shakes her head again.

  “But you’ve just given birth,” she says, her eyes squinting up in concern when she looks into my face.

  “Look at me,” I say as I raise my arms and spin around. “I don’t know how it’s possible, but I feel stronger and better than ever.”

  Lydia’s eyes narrow up again, but this time for another reason. A knowing expression crosses her face.

  “I suspected that this might have been your ability,” she said, as if confirming this suspicion for herself.

  It’s my turn to pause.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Some shifters have special powers that allow for enhanced abilities above and beyond the regular shifter abilities. It’s not common, but they do exist.”

  “Like how you can know people’s thoughts and emotions?” I ask.

  “Yes, like that. When I saw how you survived that poison, and then how your body withstood not transforming while pregnant … I knew that there was something special about you.”

  She purses her lips for a moment, as if not liking what it is she’s about to say. “I had a hunch that this was what it was, that your body has some sort of regenerative strength. It’s a very powerful gift to have and it might serve you well in a fight.”

  I feel a strange calm settle over me.

  “So, you’ll do it then?” I ask, my voice coming out as a barely a whisper.

  Lydia is still reluctant, and I know that she’s torn between her worries for all of us. There is no right answer here.

  There is only a terrible, shitty situation.

  “Lydia please,” I plead with her one final time. I am keenly aware that time is something we’re quickly running out of. “I can’t live without them.”

  She looks at me in the way that I always wished my mother would have, the way that a mother looks at her child when she is trying to keep them from pain. But rather than try to shelter me while only subjecting me to more misery … she caves.

  “Okay,” she says. “I’ll do it.”

  I throw my arms around her, unable to hold back my own emotions. I feel my heartbeat quicken and my head rush as she squeezes me back.

  “Thank you,” I exhale. This is not a happy moment. I don’t know if I’ll ever see my babies again after tomorrow. I don’t know if I will have to watch my mates get slaughtered in battle against Remus and his pack.

  But this is a binding moment; an important one.

  “You know that the guys won’t be as easy to convince as I am,” she says when she pulls back, looking me carefully in the eyes.

  “I know,” I say.

  She’s definitely right. None of the boys nor Romulus are going to want to let me come.

  Although what Lydia just told me, about my so-called regenerative abilities, it might help.

  “Let them try to stop you now,” she says with tears in her eyes. Her tone shifts slightly, her arms still holding me out at arm’s reach. “You watch over them while you’re out there. I’ll keep your babies safe, and you do the same for me.”

  I feel like my heart is going to explode. Why now, after I finally have everything that I want—love and family and children and even a mother that I’ve been longing for my whole life—is it all being threatened?

  When we walk back into the living room, the guys are all there, looking at the babies.

  I have to resist melting into them and forgetting everything else—which is all I want to do. Just looking at them, my two sons and my daughter, in their fathers’ arms … it makes me wish we could all just run away and forget everything.

  Forget Remus.

  Forget revenge.

  Forget the packs.

  But I also know that isn’t possible.

  29

  Sabrina

  “Absolutely not,” Romulus says when I tell them the change in our plans.

  Vivian has taken all of the babies upstairs so that our inevitable argument doesn’t wake them. Honestly, we shouldn’t be arguing at all right now, there are more important things that we need to be doing in preparation for tomorrow.

  “I wasn’t really asking,” I say. I’m not trying to get into a fight with Romulus, especially not now after everything he said and after I finally feel like a have a father in my life.

  But I am coming.

  “Sabrina, you can’t be serious,” Rory says. He’s done a good job of remaining stoic as I explained my plan, but I can tell it’s not been easy for him. The wolf in him is straining to lash out. Not necessarily at me, just … at everything. He too knows how impossible this all is. “You’ve just given birth to our pups. Tomorrow is a full moon and you haven’t even been able to fully transform yet.”

  “I’m fine,” I reassure them. “I’m strong enough to fight. Lydia said it’s probably some special shifter power that I have, kind of like her power to read thoughts. My body is healed, and I feel stronger than ever. I want to fight.”

  “It doesn’t matter what you want to do or not,” Romulus says. “Tomorrow night will be a brutal fight, and it won’t be in our human forms. Remus and his pack will use the power of the full moon to strengthen them as will we. If you end up not being able to shift again, then you will be slaughtered instantly.”

  He lets the gravity of his words sit for a moment.

  “Even if the boys and I try to protect you and get you to safety, it will take away from what little force we have to fight them with. It’s too great a risk. You haven’t even had one successful transformation yet.”

  “I know it will work this time,” I say adamantly. “I can feel it. It didn’t work before because of the pregnancy. My body stopped it in order to protect the pups. But it will work this time. I know it will.”

  “Sabrin
a, it’s such a huge risk,” Marlowe says. He takes a carful step towards me, but I can tell this isn’t easy for him. He doesn’t like to pick sides. Not like this. Not with me on the losing side.

  “And what about our pups?” Kaleb asks. “Who will protect them during the fight? And who will take care of them after the fight if none of us survive it?”

  “I will,” Lydia says as she steps into the room. She’s been listening at the door, not speaking until now.

  “Oh hell no,” Romulus says as he rolls his eyes at her and shakes her head. “Please tell me you didn’t agree to this, Lydia.”

  She gives him one of her wan smiles.

  “I did,” she says. “Because it was the right thing to do.”

  “Lydia, how could you?” Romulus asks her with a desperate look in his eyes. “You know how this is likely going to end. You know Remus as well as I do and certainly better than anyone here. You know what he’ll do if—”

  Lydia reaches up and holds Romulus’ face in her hands so that she can look into his eyes as she speaks.

  “Yes,” she says calmly. “I know all of those things. And I also know how much it brings me pain to know that I will not be standing in that fight beside you. But Romulus, listen to me.”

  She looks so deeply into his eyes that I suddenly feel like I’m interrupting something immensely personal. Something I shouldn’t be looking in on. Something private.

  Her voice is quiet when she continues, but I’m still able to make it out.

  “Sabrina won’t survive this if the boys don’t. Do you understand what I’m saying? If something happens to them, she won’t carry on. Remember how we first felt about each other? I wouldn’t have carried on without you either. If she is the only one left, the pups won’t make it because she won’t. Now you and I are older and wiser, and we can see past passion in order to do what we must. But they cannot.”